No. 1was living in VICTORIA ISLAND. My friends hailed me for the CAPTURE. We transferred the CUSTODY OF HER ALLOWANCE from the school guardian to GREEN HOSTEL. I planned and executed the coup. She moved in with us. We sold her RADIO SET, ELECTRIC IRON and BED SHEETS to FUND my FRIEND’S ABORTION TRIPS.
One of her friends did not like me and reported to her parents that she was LIVING WITH A MAN OFF CAMPUS. She was BUNDLED back to the HOSTEL, BUT ALL HER VALUABLES TOOK RESIDENCE IN EKOSODIN. That was more IMPORTANT. I saw that ROOM MATE recently in SURULERE TUGGING TWO ROTUND DAUGHTERS to LIFELINE HOSPITAL FOR KIDS. I reminded of her FOOLERY and we LAUGHED IT OFF. She is a MOTHER NOW.
No. 2was AUXILLIARY. Her parents were living in IKOYI. When her parents retired from the Ministry, left the government quarters and moved to Iyana Ipaja, a Lagos Surburb outside IKOYI, she LOST RELEVANCE.
No. 3grew up in LONDON and had a funny BRITISH ACCENT. She would complain to my friends that CHOCO WAS ALWAYS PADDING BACK AND FORTH FROM the FEMALE HOSTELS with an accent like one with a BOIL on HER ARMPIT. She was a COMIC RELIEF.
No. 4was liked by my friend from Agenebode. My friend liked OYOO(Beans) and she was always cooking that for him. She was rich. Her father had a manufacturing plant in Malaysia. She attended Queens Enugu. I was forced into that relationship. She refused to go out with my friends and I was called in to capture her. I once pretended I had an ASHMATIC ATTACK IN SCHOOL. SHE cried like a WIDOW WITH TWO KIDS WHOSE HUSBAND DIED WITHOUT A LIFE INSURANCE OR PENSION FUNDS. She DROPPED 10K. RICHARD IRIKEFE and UCHE collected the 10k to buy VENTOLIN INHALER for me. We met inside the SCHOOL TO SHARE THE BOOTY. I just ended the relationship without any reasons. I did not like her.
No. 5was the daughter of a RICH ELECTRONICS TYCOON in Benin. My friends, RICHARD IRIKEFE and JOE SIMPSON liked her. They always pretended they were going to her ROOM to PLAY a GAME of CARDS. I always saw EMPTY PLATES OF PASTA and RICE in front of them whenever I got to HER room. They were always in her room. When the relationship packed up, they blamed me and were not HAPPY. I knew their reasons.
To get to the CRUX of the matter, I concluded that ANGELA was not worth my time since she was an LIG. I then remembered the CELIBATE IFEANYI in my FLAT. The plan was to introduce her to Ifeanyi. I summarily INVITED HER TO GREEN HOUSE. She agreed to VISIT that evening.
I made a U-TURN and went into school. I took a BIKE to OSASOGIE STORES. I always VISITED MY FRIENDS THERE ANYTIME I WANTED TO FOOL MYSELF and ‘FORM AJE BUTTER’ as was WONT with the PEOPLE on THAT SIDE OF THE UNIBEN DIVIDE. FULL GROWN MEN WOULD SPEND 5 LONG HOURS ON A BOTTLE OF BEER AND 2 STICKS OF ROTHMANS PLAYING POOL and TELLING STORIES ABOUT AMERICA AND LONDON. They HAD RECORDS OF SPENDING EXTRA 2 YEARS IN SCHOOL. I must confess, most times, I would tell TALES about WORKING in MACDONALDS and HARRODS IN LONDON during VACATIONS. YOUNG GIRLS WOULD SIT WITH MOUTH AGAPE listening to my TALES and ACTING LIKE MAIDENS THAT were SENT BACK FROM THE VIRGIN DANCE WHEN IT WAS REALIZED THEY WERE NOT VIRGINS. STOOORRRRYYYYY!!! UNIBEN!!!!!!!!!
I left OSASOGIE after 4 hours of LIVING IN ILLUSIONARY GRANDEUR and took a BIKE to EKOSODIN VILLAGE to keep the date with Angela. My friends were in the Hostel. I informed them about ANGELA and the Date. One of my friends had met her and had tried bringing to the hostel. She declined then, he informed me and was happy she was coming.
ANGELA ARRIVED around 7pm. One of my friends was out to spend the night with a member of his HAREM. Our Hostel was buzzing with Life. Guys were Playing cards. Music was Blaring. We had no care in the world. It was a FRIDAY. YOUND MAIDENS were having their baths SINGING IN LOUD TONES waiting for their BOY and MEN FRIENDS. GOD, I LOVED UNNNIBBBEEENNN. ‘IF I SAY YES, IF I SAY NO’ rented the AIR. I WAS SOARING HIGH AND HAPPY.
Immediately ANGELA WALKED IN, the guys let out a SOUND hailing her. IFEANYI was happy too. He had money and was supplying the BOOZE. I introduced ANGELA and she joined in the competition to drink to stupor. She chatted freely with all the guys. ALL OF A SUDDEN she MADE A CHALLENGE. YOU COULD HEAR A COIN DROP.
ANGELA SAID SHE COULD SLEEP WITH ALL THE GUYS IN THE ROOM. .

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