I was AN UNREPENTANT AND SERIAL EXAMS WRITER IN UNIBEN. I WROTE EXAMS IN ALMOST ALL THE DEPARTMENTS IN UNIBEN. A MEATPIE AND A BOTTLE OF COKE IN OKONKWO’S STORE IN SOCIAL SCIENCES was ALL IT TOOK to BUY MY SOUL. I was not the food type and was living on SODA.
Just provide your NOTE BOOK and give me a 5-HOUR WINDOW, depending on the course, and you are SAFE.
I wrote MODERN HISTORY FOR SOMEONE. I remember writing about THUCYDIDES. I wondered then why SOMEONE would leave the FATHER’S HOUSE to come to school to SPEND 4 YEARS to study HISTORY. I helped one GIRL with SYNTAX and POST-POSITIVE FUNCTIONS OF ADJECTIVE IN ENGLISH DEPT. I had to MEMORIZE PRIDE AND PREJUDICE.
I helped a guy in Law with JURISPRUDENCE. He was BEFUDDLED with LAWS AND MORALS, JOHN LOCKE and POSITIVISM. I wrote PSYCHOLOGY AND SOCIOLOGY EXAMS too . They were my favorite.
I had to MEMORIZE names like TIBIA and FIBULA, HUMERUS and ULNA for a guy in MEDICINE. I wrote the ANATOMY EXAMS. a FRIEND was sent packing from medical school during his third year . He could not pass the MBBS EXAMS later. He took solace in TELLING GIRLS ABOUT FERRARI TESTAROSA AND LAMBOURGHINI COUNTACH . I wonder what he would be doing now. Hope not a medical doctor.
I was known. Just call CHOCOMILO and you would pass your exams. I was writing MACRO ECONOMICS exams for one of my friends in MBA 1 CLASS when a guy sighted me and knew there was no way I could have failed that course. I was in MBA 2. He knew my PROWESS in FACULTY OF AGRIC. He moved his PAPERS next to my DESK. When he saw the NAME I REGISTERED on the ANSWER SHEET, he smiled and HAILED ME. He copied ceaselessly. I asked him what he would have done if he did not see me in the hall. Heunearthed rolls of sheets from his pantswhen we left the hall. My friend I wrote the EXAMS for was CALLED BY THE LECTURER to CONGRATULATE HIM FOR SCORING 92% in the exams. HE DID NOT GO to see the lecturer.
One of my friends in FACULTY OF AGRIC cried and begged me to help him in one of our exams. He was worried he was going to make a THIRD CLASS and wondered what he would tell his PARENTS. I allowed him COPY MY SCRIPT. It was a 4 UNIT COURSE and he made an A-. The only A he ever made in his 5 year sojourn in UNIBEN. He ended up with a 2:2. He has never stopped buying me BEER till date.
A girl in my class sat next to me in a STATISTICS EXAMS and CONFESSED to me she DID NOT Know what the course was all about. I tried explaining DEVIATION FROM MEAN to HER and the POSITIVE SQUARE ROOT OF A VARIANCE. I TOLD HER the reason for ‘n-1’ in SAMPLING. GOD!!! she cried. I wonder what BACKGROUND she had . I allowed her to copy my script, almost copying my Matriculation Number. HARRISON ENABULELE SCORED 96% and I SCORED 94%. She passed and the next SEMESTER was SHIPPED TO FLORIDA BY HER PARENTS.
A girl HIJACKED MY SCRIPT in one of the GENETICS EXAMS. CHROMOSONAL ABBERATION MEANT NOTHING TO HER. Why should she be bothered about 2N+1 chromosomes, ADENOSINE, CYTOSINE, THIANINE and GUANINE. She just had to pass the course. ESOSA OWVIEBO should know THE STORY. Our INVIGILATOR saw her actions and SMILED. He pleaded with me to ALLOW HER COPY. I was SHOCKED!!!. She copied and passed.
My CLASS MATE, KOFI, was CAUGHT BY A TRAP IN THE FOREST DURING OUR INDUSTRIAL TRAINING. HE WAS IN THE FORESTRY DEPARTMENT. HE ALMOST LOST A LEG. HE SMOKED 5 PACKETS OF MARLBORO A DAY AND HAD A DARK SWOLLEN LIP AND AN ACCOUSTIC SIGNATURE. A DEEP COUGH. Men, KOFI was UGLY and without a LEG, it would have been DISASTROUS. He only ended up with a LIMP.
I was in the LAWN TENNIS TEAM in the SCHOOL. The first day I came to the TENNIS COURT, I defeated the SCHOOL NUMBER 4. They drafted me into the WAUG TEAM IMMEDIATELY. I COLLECTED THE CAMP ALLOWANCE and NEVER PLAYED FOR THE TEAM. I played lawn tennis as a child and reconsidered my HIGH AMBITIONS when I took a dive on a HARD COURT a la BORIS BECKER and sustained serious injuries not realizing BECKER was diving on WIMBLEDON GRASS COURTS not HARD COURTS.
A GIRL in the SCHOOL’S FEMALE SPORTS TEAM SPRAINED HER ANKLE. I had to take her back to her ROOM IN EKOSODIN VILLAGE, TREATED HER, TUCKED HER IN BED and LEFT AFTER 12AM. The next day the NEWS was AGOG that I was IMPOTENT. She told her FRIENDS that she gave me all the GREEN LIGHT and I TURNED HER DOWN. That Event still HAUNTS ME. WELL!! I HAVE SIRED GIOVANNI AND ANDRE.
I had about FIVE (5) Girlfriends at this time. I PREACHED the CONCEPT of ‘VALUE ADD’ in relationships. Sex was not the PIVOT. Values were added.

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