The next HOSTEL I STAYED in, GREEN HOUSE was so NOTORIOUS that the WOMAN who owned the HOSTEL had to CHASE US OUT and CALLED SOME PASTORS to SANCTIFY the HOSTEL when we LEFT. Don’t mind the woman, we even learnt that she killed her husband and inherited the property. We just left her to her wickedness.
I led the team with EDOJA that trapped a SHEEP meant for THE GODS of EKOSODIN VILLAGE and a BIG COCKEREL meant for the SHRINE of one of the chiefs of the village to our HOSTEL to be SLAUGHTERED. The VILLAGERS SWORE that those RESPONSIBLE for the DASTARD ACT would not graduate. I graduated, although some that innocently partook in the MEAL SPENT EXTRA 3 years in school. THE GODS MUST HAVE BEEN ANGRY with those that ATE but NOT THOSE that killed. EDOJA spent an EXTRA YEAR in school. He sold his travelling bag to some guys to raise money to print his project work. The project work was inside the bag. When we recovered the bag, he had lost about 30 pages of the script. Man cannot FATHOM the ways of the GODS. They choose whom to BLESS or KILL. I believe I belong to the former.
My friend Uche got the GREEN HOSTEL and immediately invited me to move in. I was a GREAT ASSET TO ANYONE and was SOUGHT BY MANY. The Flat had 4 ROOMS. Uche carved out a space in the sitting room and LET ALL OUT at a SUM TWICE the amount he paid for the FLAT.
Leslie was staying in one of the rooms. He left school in his second year and travelled to Australia. I ran into him recently in V.I.
A girl stayed in one of the rooms and always talked about London. She CLAIMED she was A VIRGIN. My friends complained bitterly about her fake lifestyle. They took the pains to find out where her home was in Benin and discovered it was UZEBU QUARTERS and that A SHRINE WAS AT THE BACK OF HER HOUSE. SHE HAD NEVER CROSSED OLOKUN JUNCTION IN BENIN not to talk about travelling to London. What was my own? I liked the girl since she ALWAYS kept her SOUP AND STEW in our REFRIGERATOR. I never LACKED.
The other room was occupied by IFEANYI who THOUGHT in IGBO and had to convert his THOUGHTS from IGBO to ENGLISH before he could speak. You could IMAGINE the OUTCOME. His FATHER HAD CHAINS OF STORES IN ONITSHA and he was HAPPY to be ASSOCIATED with they who could SPEAK ENGLISH FLUENTLY. He never had a DECENT BABE in School. I never saw any with him. When he was not CALLING me ‘CHOCOMIRO’, he always BELLOWED, ‘CHARY MY GUY!!!’ to my chagrin and amusement. Most Onitsha and Nnewi folks of Igbo extraction have problems with the letters ‘L’ and ‘R’ and interchange them at will in words. One girl I once considered marrying had that problem. She was in UNIZIK AWKA and was studying Engineering on Shell Scholarship. I called off the union when all training could not help. She once said that her friend’s Dad had a ‘SHOP ON ASA LOAD IN ABA AND ROADED HIS DRINKS FROM HIS SHOP TO THE ALIALA MARKET’. Would you blame me for running? She is in UK now with her Husband and Kids. I spoke to her on phone last year. She was stillPATHETIC.
The MAKESHIFT ROOM in our GREEN HOSTEL was OCCUPIED by BERTRAND, Uche’s cousin. I wonder how he passed JAMB. At a point he left the room and moved back into school citing UNDUE INFLUENCES ON HIS CHARACTER by us. I WONDER WHAT CHARACTER HE HAD. I had to bail him out by writing a FINANCIAL ACCOUNTING EXAMS for him he failed 2 times and was risking spending 2 extra years in school. RICHARD IRIKEFE converted the room Bertrand vacated to his MUSIC ROOM where he would DISTURB us EVERY MORNING with BEETHOVEN, BACH, TCHAIKOVSKY and URHOBO MUSIC. I did not bother about the CLASSICAL MUSIC, ESPECIALLY SWAN LAKE by TCHAIKOVSKY, BUT THE URHOBO MUSIC that SOUNDED LIKE A GROUP OF INTOXICATED MEN ARGUING OVER WHO SHOULD TAKE THE LARGEST PIECE OF MEAT AFTER A MEAL. I wondered how he liked SUCH CACOPHONY.
A HOSPITAL OFF EKEWUAN ROAD BENIN,NEKPEN HOSPITAL, was the HOME of ABORTION IN BENIN. MY FRIEND HAD 3 CASES in one MONTH. I had to ACCOMPANY ONE OF THE GIRLS to the HOSPITAL since HE WAS BATTLING with the OTHER TWO. I refused to go AGAIN when the GIRL was ready for ANOTHER VISIT after TWO MONTHS. My friend Simeon informed me that theOWNER OF THE HOSPITAL has GONE STRAIGTH AFTER NIGHTLY DISTURBANCES BY THE SPIRITS OF EVACUATED FETUSES. One of the PREGNANT GIRLS DISAPPEARED to RESURFACE AFTER NINE MONTHS WITH A DAUGHTER that LOOKED EXACTLY LIKE MY GUY. HE COULD NOT DENY. HE LEFT A DAUGHTER IN BENIN. I SPOKE TO THE GIRL RECENTLY. She is 14 years old.
OUR TWO FRIENDS were MEDICAL STUDENTS. One was called DOCTOR DANGER and the other DOCTOR SLY. They smoked more weed than anyone. They are both in Lagos today practicing the TRADE. I took ill one day and had the misfortune of being around their territory. I VEHEMENTLY DECLINED to be TREATED by them despite their entreaties . Ha!!! Doctor DANGER AND DOCTOR SLY to treat me??

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